shopping

Me:  "Shandi and I are going to Target and Hobby Lobby"

Brab: "Oh, that'll be fun.  They'll be happy to see you.  They'll probably wonder you've been for the past few hours."

burning

Me: "If the house started to burn down, after we save the dogs and the turtle, let's make sure we save our wedding scrapbook."

Brad:  With no emotion and as though he hadn't heard what I just said, "I'm going to need your help carrying the TV."

pause

"And maybe the PS3."

Emergency

Brad didn't come when I called him into the room, even though I said it was an emergency. Me "well, now I know how'll you'll respond in a real emergency" B: "no, I'll know it's a real emergency if you don't say anything for 15 or 16 seconds."

piano

Someone new was called as my partner in primary and she's a better pianist than I.  I was lamenting the fact to B.

"Well, you should just practice more.  Do like 30 minutes a day."  [pause]  "But, do it when I'm not home."

[incredulous look from his wife]

"Ok, you can give me a recital when I get home.  But only once through each song."

deep fried

Did you hear that Houston is opening up clinics called tempura clinics? They're for lightly battered women.

Teen mom

I was reading an US Weekly article called 'Teen Mom Confessions'

B: "Ooo, Teen Mom confessions. What are they confessing? That they had sex before marriage? Unprotected sex?"

We've been married for nearly 6 years

B: Do you have any scrapbooks you want to finish this summer?

Me: Well, our wedding.

B:  Oh well, it didn't happen that long ago.  You still have time to work on it.  I think you get like a 15 year window, that way it's still fresh in your mind.

cancer check

Alex was telling us about a new app he downloaded that checks moles.

Brad "Soon they'll come out with an app that check for colon cancer.  They'll call it the i-probe."

piano

"Remember when I bought you a piano.  Seems like it was just yesterday."

(it was yesterday)

Istanbul

My little sister is about to go to Istanbul:

I heard on the radio that there used to be a Nabisco factory in Istanbul, though back then it was Constantinople. And, fun fact, the Turkish people love to eat hors d'oeuvres served on flakey buttery crackers.

Persuasive

My students wrote Brad a persuasive letter to ask him to come visit them.  They know that every persuasive letter has a least 3 reasons why someone should do what you want them to.  I posted the letter they wrote on my blog.  Then this happened:

Graham first:

Brad,

I want you to come visit Kendal and me in Canada.

You've never been to Ottawa.

We like Canada and Ottawa and think you'd like them too.

There's outdoorsy stuff here and you like outdoorsy stuff.

We want to shake your hand in Canada.

Bring your wife if it would make you come.

Sincerely,

Graham (and Kendal, who's reading over my shoulder)


Then Brad:

That is a damn fine persuasive letter Graham, damn fine. That being said, i fear you, like Kelsy's class would be sorely disappointed if I actually came to visit you. I am all hype and no show.

Ninja

Comment on my mom's blog, after she posted a picture of a Japanese pagoda she saw in Brussels:

If Bruce Lee movies have taught me anything (and I like to think that they have) it is that if you would have ventured into that Japanese style pagoda you would have been confronted by fighters of increasing skill on each successive floor, whom you would have had to beat to advance to the next floor. If you were able to make it to the top floor you would have found Kareem Abdul Jabaar patiently waiting for the day a formidable adversary finally makes it to the top floor. True story. I don't know how he can be at the top of every Japanese pagoda, but I feel like he is. Perhaps someday we will plan a coordinated ascension of two different pagoda's to test the theory (family reunion anyone?). It will however require months of training before hand, and Wane's intricate knowledge of the 5 on 2 technique

Go

Me: "Have you heard my dad's joke about Vincent Van Gogh's brothers. There's one named Winneba..."

Brad: "Is there one named Ta?"

Me: "Tago?"

Brad: "It's a Mexican food...if you have a stuffy nose."

Blind painting

Recently, my mother spent some time in Europe visiting my little sister.  They took a short trip to Paris and stopped by the Louvre, where my mother snapped this picture.

Brad's comment:

I think Vermeer forgot his glasses when he painted the lace maker, because it looks pretty blurry. Or maybe it is supposed to be from the perspective of someone who forgot their glasses. I personally excel at painting things from the perspective of blind people. I have included a small sample of my work below, to see it you need to close your eyes and scroll down, you can touch the screen with your fingers to enhance the effect of the picture. Maybe someday my work will be in the louvre.

Conversation at Panera

Alex: "I assume he's talking about a strip club"

Brad: "no, I was just talking about the YMCA or something. It's the only place where it's acceptable for a bunch of men to walk around naked together"

Names

"Everybody knows that names that end in e are feminine. Damn it, Bradley."

Grandpa Joe

"I think I might turn in to Grandpa Joe.  I think I'll just stay in bed.  Until one day... I'll burst from the bed.  With vibrant color and show."

Starter

Me: "I don't think I'm much if a quitter."

B: "You may not be much of a quitter but you're not really much of a starter either!"

bff

Me: "remember how you said I am..."

B: "your own best friend?"

Not quite what I was looking for!

from my sister's blog

The picture

The caption:  Some pansies in front of the Parliament.

B's comment:  Graham, how can you let your wife call you a pansey like that? That's messed up Kendal. Those are cool flowers though, what are they, tulips?

Cake-off

While watching Ultimate Cake Off, and after the contestant had just said the judges would rip him a new one:

"Is he crying? There's no crying in cake-off. Tom Hanks would rip him a new one."

After watching a new Southwest commercial B added : "and now all airplanes come with sunroofs".

In the past...

K:  "Honey, I need a new craft."

B:  "Why don't you craft yourself a clean house.  You could vacuum designs in the carpet."