shopping

Me:  "Shandi and I are going to Target and Hobby Lobby"

Brab: "Oh, that'll be fun.  They'll be happy to see you.  They'll probably wonder you've been for the past few hours."

burning

Me: "If the house started to burn down, after we save the dogs and the turtle, let's make sure we save our wedding scrapbook."

Brad:  With no emotion and as though he hadn't heard what I just said, "I'm going to need your help carrying the TV."

pause

"And maybe the PS3."

Emergency

Brad didn't come when I called him into the room, even though I said it was an emergency. Me "well, now I know how'll you'll respond in a real emergency" B: "no, I'll know it's a real emergency if you don't say anything for 15 or 16 seconds."

piano

Someone new was called as my partner in primary and she's a better pianist than I.  I was lamenting the fact to B.

"Well, you should just practice more.  Do like 30 minutes a day."  [pause]  "But, do it when I'm not home."

[incredulous look from his wife]

"Ok, you can give me a recital when I get home.  But only once through each song."

deep fried

Did you hear that Houston is opening up clinics called tempura clinics? They're for lightly battered women.

Teen mom

I was reading an US Weekly article called 'Teen Mom Confessions'

B: "Ooo, Teen Mom confessions. What are they confessing? That they had sex before marriage? Unprotected sex?"

We've been married for nearly 6 years

B: Do you have any scrapbooks you want to finish this summer?

Me: Well, our wedding.

B:  Oh well, it didn't happen that long ago.  You still have time to work on it.  I think you get like a 15 year window, that way it's still fresh in your mind.