Christmas Card

I thanked my sister and friend for making our Christmas card...Brad responded:


You forgot to thank the other most important people for making the card look fantastic, and that would be you and me. because when you are as hot as we are, really you could put anything around the picture and it would look good. But thanks Kera and Shandi too, and the boys for cooperating (sort of).

TV

Me: let's watch HIMYM B: nah, how about you watch me play FIFA? Me: you won't watch Big Rich Texas with me so why would I watch you play FIFA? B: well, at least the soccer is realistic.

Forgetful

Brad holds up his hand and says, in a deep voice, "Hi.". Pause. "oh, wait, it's how." I laugh. Brad responds, "yeah, yesterday I thought Tommy Lee Jones was Bob Dole." I think the old age is catching up with him!

at the hospital

I thought I had kidney stones and so we went to the emergency room:

me:  "do you think I'll be admitted?"

Brad: "No.  Committed maybe."

Chinese Food

"I think our car may be Chinese, not Japanese.  This take-out box fits perfectly in these square cup holders!"

little miss muffett

little bo peep had lots of sheep, 

as white as curds and whey,

along came a Schneiter,

and sat down beside her,

and talked her ear away.

GC

Grand Cayman is a British territory and as such, the drivers drive on the left.  While we were in GC, Brad kept turning on his windshield wipers instead of his turn signal when we was about to turn.  He said:

"The other day i tried to indicate a left turn with my windshield wipers and someone honked at me. I dont think the windshield wipers have the same meaning here in the states. In Cayman it means, this person may turn into on-coming trafic so watch out."